The Dishwasher Is a Love Language

Nobody fights about the dishwasher. They fight about whose way of living gets to win, one bowl at a time.

If you have ever waited until your partner left the room and then moved a single mug, you already understand everything this article has to say.

Two schools of thought

The Tetris School believes every item has a correct position, and that a well-loaded rack is a moral achievement. The Toss School believes the machine is a box of water and that things inside it will sort themselves out. These two schools have been marrying each other for as long as dishwashers have existed.

How to live in peace

1. Choose a loader. One person owns the job, and the other person brings dishes to the counter and walks away.
2. Trade it for something. You load, they fold. Divide by what each of you hates least.
3. Agree on the sacred items. The good knife is hand-washed. This one is not up for debate.

The quiet part

Here is the secret that long-married people will tell you if you catch them at the right moment. Rearranging somebody’s dishes means you share a kitchen with them, and you plan to keep doing it. You could be doing that alone. Someone left a fork in there tines up, just for you.

We made a mug about this. Please load it however you like.